Copy

by Zbigniew

There’s dread, and then there’s a very particular type of dread associated with a lifestyle magazine featuring a cover story of your neighbourhood.

Gail Johnson, the designated fluff-hack for the condo-ad dependent Georgia Straight, gives East Hastings the promotional copy once over in her “Hastings-Sunrise basks in the area’s rebirth” (February 20-27, 2014).

She opens with some tired quotes (“The city can’t grow any more to the south because there’s a border. It can’t go anymore to the ….” blah blah etc), pays lip service to history, and references new eateries, “districts”, and proximities as breezily as possible to get to the prolonged climax: a comprehensive inventory of the local condo developments coming on line. The whole tired, saggy mess is sandwiched amongst and between ads for even more condos and laneway house constructors.

Dave and Candy lived across the alley for years: avid gardeners and professional musicians, great neighbours and lovely people. The house sold and they moved out to deep Burnaby.

The first order of business for the new owners was to cut down the fig and persimmon trees to make way for their camper van -which I’ve never seen moved.

Yes, it’s their property. Of course, they can do as they please. I said hello.

She talked of how conveniently located the neighbourhood was to downtown and the north shore, and they  sure are doing a lot of renovations, and how often do you see persimmon trees. And I miss Dave and Candy.