fear & loathing in Lotusland

Month: July, 2013

The Cringe: Driving Skills

by Zbigniew

Uploader: xSupaD

The Worst of Vancouver Survey

by Zbigniew

Summertime, and the living is pricey.

Condo lifestyle got you down? Maybe Mayor Smiley’s toothy grin mit square jaw is wearing a little thin? Why not take a few minutes to channel that background angst into the inaugural edition of Scamcouver’s The Worst of Vancouver Survey.

Its short, bitter, and decidedly non-scientific, like a cheap, badly mixed drink. Pithy, smart-ass answers welcome, but there’s space for more considered invective, too.

Survey closes August 24th.

To take the survey, click below:

I want to take Scamcouver's The Worst of Vancouver Survey

The Antipole

by Zbigniew


History is not an impediment, but contributes to the stock of symbolic capital: an enduring and visible catalogue of social, political and creative obstacles surmounted.

The radial streets form a maze. It’s a drifter’s dream: a street that has seen traffic for two millennia; a university closing in on its thousandth birthday; wooden beams that have supported the same structure for 700 years, give or take a century.

Place names celebrate troublemakers: Garibaldi’s Thousand, Mohandas Gandhi, Mussolini’s failed assassin, Zamboni. There’s even a lane reserved for the vaguely disgruntled –oh, to have an address on Via Malcontenti.

Space is tight, so it’s a matter of coarse that bars, cafés and restaurants assume space on sidewalks and residential streets. The consumption of an aperitivo curbside does not appear to generate consternation.

And it’s civilized. On a warm summer evening thousands gather in the piazza to watch Terence Malick’s Badlands; a fair number will avail themselves of the opportunity to enjoy a cigarette.

But in this refuge, there’s little refuge. Eradicated from all that history is the wild. Green space is a tightly circumscribed fringe around a monument to a liberator. Of sorts.


The Science of Getting Rich

by Zbigniew

Of a warm, summer evening, I opt for a post-prandial perambulation. Through the twilight and scents of barbeque, bonfire, and marijuana I drift north. Near Wall Street, a sign catches my eye and piques my curiosity.

The telephone contact employed by “Tod” and “Rich” is also associated with one Jeffrey Hunter, self-professed Northern California “MasterMind Mentor” and “21st Century Renaissance Man.” Jeff espouses the Law of Attraction, wherein a universal dynamic quantum physics energy field magnetizes things -primarily cold, hard cash- to your general direction.

In a humble East Vancouver neighbourhood adjacent to the port, train yards and the industrial strength processing of animal remains I’ve stumbled upon the presence of a post-new age California guru’s Science of Getting Rich: think positively, invest heavily in Vancouver real estate, and soon you’ll be ordering “the $100 bottle of wine with dinner.”

CPR Ferry

by Zbigniew