2012: The Scam Reviewed

by Zbigniew

Gullet stuffed? Eyes bloodshot from reading all those “year in review” articles. So what’s a little more?

This blog launched in earnest on March 9, 2012 with the mission of uncovering and presenting the scam that runs so vibrantly beneath this city’s glitzy sales pitch. It’s off to a good start: 81 posts, almost 3,000 views, a small but growing cadre of followers and commentators, and a growing roster of contributors (thanks DJKlueless and Sadiethievery).

Not surprisingly, the vast majority of Scamcouver‘s readership is Canadian. However, US readers accounted account for a substantial portion and visitors to the blog were located in another 36 countries. Aside from those like former resident and occasional commentator “Ian from Hamburg”, this globally distributed readership begs the question: “what the devil are they looking for?” Scamcouver readers can be found in:

  • Australia
  • Austria
  • Bangladesh
  • Belgium
  • Bermuda
  • Brazil
  • France
  • Georgia
  • Germany
  • Greece
  • Hong Kong
  • Iceland
  • India
  • Ireland
  • Israel
  • Italy
  • Japan
  • Lebanon
  • Malaysia
  • Mexico
  • the Netherlands
  • Pakistan
  • Panama
  • the Philippines
  • Poland
  • Romania
  • the Russian Federation
  • Serbia
  • Singapore
  • South Africa
  • Spain
  • Sri Lanka
  • Thailand
  • Trinidad & Tobago
  • the United Kingdom
  • Venezuela

Scamworld

While property development was a singularly popular subject, surveillance, egomaniacal shenanigans and oddball bits of our past and present also drew attention. The 10 most popular postings were:

  • Boom/Bust Town
  • Rennie Overdrive
  • Thinner Streets, Fatter Revenues
  • No Gold, But Lots of Brass
  • Here Was Man
  • Full Colour Epitaph
  • Soon
  • Seen in Passing: Terminal & Begg
  • Some Shiny Thing
  • Friendly Surveillance

Some of the more unusual search terms that drove traffic to the blog included the following:

  • best security cam pic
  • bob rennie asshole
  • booms booms hastings sunrise
  • chimera fish
  • deborra hope global tv is hopeless
  • delusion (noun)
  • dorothy stratten
  • east village hastings vancouver ugly banners
  • electric lotusland
  • encased in concrete fetish
  • fake spring loaded hypodermic needle
  • ferdinand marcos cash account scams
  • “fine grain” retail frontage
  • fixation synonym
  • gigantic constructions car
  • grass on yoga pants
  • illusion synonym
  • “john furlong”+”asshole”
  • monster chimera
  • mountain monster fantasy
  • petition to replace the east villiage (sic) banners in east vancouver
  • photo violation technologies corp
  • podium defile
  • tawdry romanticism
  • tom burrows on second narrows
  • ugly reflective jacket fire marshall
  • vancouver severely scotch
  • yoga weed

Scammer of the Year

With all that quantitative stuff out of the way, it’s time for some pure subjectivity in the form of the first annual Scammer of the Year award. To be eligible, candidates must have been character assassinated in this blog’s “Scammer” category at some point over the course of the year. Candidates are judged for their ability to present themselves as stalwart citizens while simultaneously deforming the local psychogeography for their personal enrichment; extra points are awarded for overall douchebaggery. The winner will be notified of their victory by poison pen letter, which will be accompanied by the cash prize comprised of whatever Canadian Tire money I happened to have pinned to my refrigerator. A likeness of the winner will be installed in a future “Strip Mall of Shame,” pending a development permit approval from City Hall.

The candidates for the inaugural 2012 Scammer of the Year award are:

  • dead-but-still-kicking former CPR boss, Cornelius van Horne;
  • master of the condo shill, Bob Rennie; and,
  • CBC deadweight, Rick Cluff.

And the winner -for extreme self-aggrandizement couched as public service, “philanthropy” and a penchant for uncivil discourse- is … Bob Rennie! (Cue the half-hearted smattering of applause.)

2013

Writing this blog is a personal necessity. But this evisceration of beasts is also an emotionally messy process, for it’s about my home. Perhaps 2013 is too soon to hope to lay down the knife and hose off the altar, but not too soon to wish you and yours a happy and prosperous New Year.