Friendly Surveillance
by Zbigniew
Pacific Central: Stainless steel sentinels promise incidental convenience in an Orwellian/Huxleyan dialect, all for the low-low price of being surveilled. While these dead-eyed servants of the state have not been deployed -apparently- beyond a Station Street trial, Vancouver’s Photo Violation Technologies Corp. remains committed to Revolutionizing the Parking IndustryTM by Perfecting How People ParkTM one trademarked phrase at a time.
Kudos to Kasimir (kish.ca).
The PhotoViolationMeterTM
The World’s Friendliest Parking MeterTM!
FEATURES-Benefit To You!
Every Way to PayTM
The PhotoViolationMeterTM accepts a number of payment options including:
Coin (Multi-currency)/Bills*
Credit Card*
Pay-by-Phone*
Debit Card*
Smart Card*
*Some options may not be activated.
Credit Card No-FineTM Feature*
Never worry about receiving a parking violation!
By paying with credit card and selecting the No-FineTM feature, the PhotoViolationMeterTM bills time automatically to your credit card while the vehicle is parked. Once the vehicle pulls away, the meter stops billing the credit card.
NOTE: Check time restrictions and no-parking times
Grace PeriodTM Feature*
Don’t worry about running a few minutes late! The Grace PeriodTM Feature is a user friendly feature that allows the driver to pay at the meter for expired time upon returning to your vehicle.
NOTE: Grace Period set by City/Municipality
Pay Your FineTM Feature*
If you do receive a parking violation you can pay it right at the meter. It’s so easy!
Instant NotificationTM Feature*
The Instant NotificationTM Feature informs of:
No-Parking Times
Rush Hour Zone Times
Special Events Parking Rates
Free Parking Times
* Patents Pending. Some Features May Not Be Activated.
These guys have a penchant for trademarking stupid phrases. I call bollocks on trademarking “Grace Period” also.
Stick a big fucking wad of gum on the lens, then smear the wad with dogshit.
Ba!